♥ Don't forget to let your heart breathe

♥ Saturday, May 31, 2008

I MISS PEOPLE

I miss people. I miss sms-ing people. I miss chatting with people. I miss talking with people. I miss waiting for you to go online. I miss waiting for you to sms. I miss sitting down for hours and talking with you.I miss talking crap with you. I miss not running out of things to talk about. I miss laughing for no reason. I miss 100 plus. I miss running 2.4km. I miss walking with no destination. I miss so many things. Things changed. I wish they were the same like they used to be. I miss that golden moment of mine. When life seems to be bright. When everything seemed to be the right side up. When so many good things were beginning for me. But then, life is like a wheel. Going round and round on that expressway. You could be on top but then, one day you might end up at the bottom. But then, you cannot lose hope. You must go on with life and one day, you might just end up at the top again :D

Nadhirah larh seyh :)

Blogged @ 5/31/2008

♥ Wednesday, May 28, 2008

AND TODAY IS ANOTHER FUCKED UP, BITCH PARADE DAY!

i used the word excessively actually today. WHO CARES RIGHT?
hahahaha, jk honey

and u know what.
i DESPISE sleeping, if there's moronic bad dreams. i want sweet dreams, with ____ in it. :D HEH!
but everything cant go my way

i blindfolded myself, covered my eyes from seeing the truth,
the feeling that i know deep down is so fucked up right.
i cant help it. tell me, can you?

that's all, i just dont want to regret again. im tryna be gd, positive and all that WOW feelings here.
all of them true.
but there's smth buried which u wont know. :X

GET LOST BITCH.bye

ARGHMERAA

I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared
But no one would listen, 'cause no one else cared
After my dreaming, I woke with this fear
What am I leaving when I'm done here?

So if you're asking me, I want you to know

When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest

Leave out all the rest, don't be afraid
I've taken my beating, I've shared what I made
I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through
I've never been perfect, but neither have you

So if you're asking me, I want you to know

When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are

When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are

I can't be who you are

im in the baddest shitty mood u can ever see.
IT SUCKS OKAY, BIG TIME
fuck someone else okay?!

Blogged @ 5/28/2008

♥

IT'S YEW TEE. WOW!
Yessa. I'm bored alright. I've got nothing to do. So yeah. I've been living here since don't know how many years (hey, it's a long time. don't expect me to remember) but I'm still not tired of looking at that scenery. Well, yes. I've climbed up and down that staircase for a gazillion times but it never gets tiring. I love where I'm living now. It's peaceful yet easily accessible. It is a lovely place to live in and I don't want to trade it for nothing else.

Urgh~ I don't know why but I'm not in the mood to even look at my phone this days. Everytime people text me, it just feels sad. Yerh. I'm weird but it does. Something's been missing these days. I don't know what but it's bothering me. I just feel so freaking empty. Help.

I'm signing off.

Blogged @ 5/28/2008

♥ Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Each day passes by and I've got a feeling that we're drifting apart. It's like I don't even know you anymore. It's been so long since we've sat down and talked. We've been too busy. You're always so close to me but it never feels like you are. Your mind is always somewhere else. You've never once tried to even act happy for me. I don't think I know you like I used to. You've changed. Or could it be that it's just me?

And you. Stop giving me false hope because it ain't helping. Don't try to act like you care cause you don't. Go away.

Blogged @ 5/27/2008

♥ Monday, May 26, 2008

HOHOHOHOHO,

IM SO GAY! ;D

terima kasih teman-temanku!

oh im so over the moon.

look nadhieee, its a FLYING COW.

WOW~!

-.- -.- -.- -.- -.- -.-

fish that,bitch.

i got one lame joke:

i was so gay, my father thought he was homo.

*no offence to my daddy, but actually, i dont get it myself, wtv. shithead. ;D

BYE, LOVELY PEOPLE!

Blogged @ 5/26/2008

♥ Saturday, May 24, 2008

aku, Nasyiba tau. :DDD APPLAUSE.
TEPI KIRI AKU NADHIRAH TAU. APPLAUSE.
TEPI NADHIRAH, AZALEA TAU. APPLAUSE.

kitorang pat esplanade, untuk the gentarasa rehearsal. APPLAUSE.
jgn marah~.
fun giler babbb.
amek gambar mcm2 tau, APPLAUSE.

DAMN FUN NAK MAMPOS.

memang mcm lebih bonded gitu tau, APPLAUSE.

pat sini kan kan kan, pakai internet free tau. APPLAUSE.
kite kat sini lame mcm camp gitu, fun tau. APPLAUSE.
nanti Mr Lee Hsien Loong ade tngok kite tau.
sdjgfdbgdfbadrubgdh !!! ader Mr Farhan tau.
kite smlm,,,,,,, naek samerrrrr kerete ngan DIERRRRR !!! APPLAUSE.
jgn marah ~~~.

wahahahaha. Ms Onniatta Effendi jadi MC. APPLAUSE.
aku blaja APPLAUSE dari die uh.
then we stay in the same room ngn die.
chickennutbread :DDDDDDDDD.
kite2 je tawu, APPLAUSE.
Ridhwan ngan Ahmad pon ader. DON'T APPLAUSE.

balek lambat, tapi syiiiiooooooookkkk. APPLAUSE.
the room is like hotel. memang hotel pon, cekgu kate.
Mandarin Oriental tau NADHIRAH !!!
funnnnnnnnn !
once in a lifetime opportunity, APPLAUSE.
kesian nadh eh.
name tukar jadi hadhirah.
kurang ajar nye org.

wheeee !
APPLAUSE!!!!!!!!!!

Blogged @ 5/24/2008

♥

u see, i always expect alot from others. tt sucks, and i dont like tt part of me.
i wish i can be more good-natured.? easy - going? insyAllah. hah,shut up bitch.

let's just wait.
maybe i'll find things, when we're heart to heart.
but for now, i guess im happy?

WEIRD LA, CHEEBYE.
smlm high,then moody.
beh pagi2 ni happy.
lermak, cheebye.pukimek. heh. diam :D

i want to say sry, to YOU YOU YOU.
idk for what, i feel like i did smth wrong to u.
BUT CHYEAH IM SRY HONEY!
heh :D
ily, ok tts random. but yeah, words are only words, right? ass. X)

Blogged @ 5/24/2008

♥ Thursday, May 22, 2008

You used to talk to me like
I was the only one around.
You used to lean on me like
The only other choice was falling down.
You used to walk with me like
We had nowhere we needed to go,
Nice and slow, to no place in particular.

We used to have this figured out;
We used to breathe without a doubt.
When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.
We used to have this under control.
We never thought.
We used to know.
At least there's you, and at least there's me.
Can we get this back?
Can we get this back to how it used to be?

I used to reach for you when
I got lost along the way.
I used to listen.
You always had just the right thing to say.
I used to follow you.
Never really cared where we would go,
Fast or slow, to anywhere at all.

We used to have this figured out;
We used to breathe without a doubt.
When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.
We used to have this under control.
We never thought.
We used to know.
At least there's you, and at least there's me.
Can we get this back?
Can we get this back to how it used to be?

I look around me,
And I want you to be there
'Cause I miss the things that we shared.
Look around you.
It's empty, and you're sad
'Cause you miss the love that we had.

You used to talk to me like
I was the only one around,
The only one around.

We used to have this figured out;
We used to breathe without a doubt.
When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.
We used to have this under control.
We never thought.
We used to know.
At least there's you, and at least there's me.
Can we get this back?
Can we get this back to how it used to be? Yeah.
To how it used to be.
To how it used to be, yeah.
To how it used to be.

*you said u're going solo, but it doesnt seem so.
its not jealousy. its smth else.
i miss those times, and its almost tt i cant feel for them anymore. D:
tts why my heart's dysfunctioned.
i dont wanna be like ur ex-bestie. i dont wanna pass tt line u set.
but i just, i dont think i should, and i could believe what u tell me anymore.
not even when u say u love me.

im sry, this shit feeling came abt. HAHA, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.
sweet~ D:

Blogged @ 5/22/2008

♥ Monday, May 19, 2008

pls.bloody red eyes. body full of marks and scars. swollen left arm. and swollen thigh.

all becoz of tis person. tis moronic idiotic fucking person. my father. hes such a toot! sometimes i wish he was dead. kene heart attack or high blood pressure ke. i only care about e money.

how i wish u (my father lar of coz) were dead. just go and die. so my life
will be happier without u. qu si ah. kene accident ke. kener langgar dgan motor car ke. kan bagos.

why am i always e main target? what have i done to deserve tis sey. i have good grades. so wat.its not as if someone cares. nobody cares bout me. nobody. im just alone going through my life journey. im just minding my own business. i nvr disturb u wat. so why should u.

i feel so unwanted. just a person. a useless person. a nuisance. who cares about me sey.if i die, nobody noes. nobody will. coz nobody cares. i feel like running away from e house. not home coz it doesnt feel lik one. but who will i turn to? for help. for support. nobody is there for me. so i cant wait to leave tis house when i grow up later. so i wont bother about u. and u wont bother about me. u just go and die can. im just someone who u can always bantai rite. do u even care bout my feelings. no. u only care about urself. u just dont lik to see me happy. everything i do is
wrong. u go study about ppl psychology lar. everything u do is set angry, scold, bantai ppl. no wonder nobody want to listen to u lar. dumb dumb! problem actualli lies in u. not me. i am lazy. so wat? i get it from u wat. ur genes. pemalas giler nak mampos. boleh kemas sendiri, tak
nak. nak suroh orang je. and im always e one yg kener. wat about e others sey. always marah me, bantai me. kan senang2 buat kerje sendiri ah. nak suroh2 org. gi mampos lar. i just dont want to do it kan. its not my things. so why should i care. im just minding my own business. just leave me alone. can? just treat me as invincible ke aper lar. klau boleh dont regard me as ur anak lar. i dont even wish to be ur anak. oh puh-lease lar.

where was everyone when i need them? mama. where are u? so wat if ur here. its not as if ur gonna do anything kan. siblings.all minding their own business. i dont mean anything to them. they just ignore my father bantai me and continue doing their own stuff. ini namer adek beradek? namer jer tapi tak leh harap langsung. everyone just ignore me. coz nobody cares about me. maybe there is lar. my sayang of course. and my friends?

home doesnt feel lik home at all. its just a house filled wif people. strangers. how i wish camp last forever. tak yah balik rumah. tats y i love sch so much.i hate going home. bkannye ader aper2 kat rmah.

dari kecik im always e one. e one kene marah. kene bantai. always me. yang laen slalu tak kene. life is being so unfair to me. why why why?

sometimes i feel lik reporting u for child abuse. but i dont dare. siket2 nak pukol. violence wont solve e problem. bodoh kape. ader otak tak nak pkai. always turn to violence. i noe lar ur belt veri kebal, veri tebal. i noe u very strong lar. so wat. u sae jer u rase e saket when u pukol me. actualli u dont. stop lying lar. if u feel e pain u will stop. u are just heartless. not only my body saket. but my hati also. u spoil my everything. sialan punyer jantan. fuck off lar. seriously go and die. becoz of u im wasting my tears for nothing. my tears veri precious. becoz of u now myhead pusing mcam gasing. u dont noe. and u dont care wat.

why do u hate me so much? well i hate u too. i just dont get it. i realli dont. i just dont understand why is my life lik tis.

senang2 kan just bunoh me. kan senang. tak yah nak marah2 me anymore.

i noe u jealous of my hair. tarik2. ingat free kape. saket tau sialan.

everyone just cherish wat u have. be grateful to have such wonderful parents. unlik me. so yeah.

i have no where else to turn toexcept tis. if u read tis, pls just ignore it. pretend u have nver read tis entry before. "just shut up and drive."

-another side of me.

Blogged @ 5/19/2008

♥

im GAY

Blogged @ 5/19/2008

♥ Sunday, May 18, 2008

i've fought enough battles
i've built my walls, skyhigh
to know that my wounds would heal
and that everything would be alright

i've been stifling some screaming voices
and you told me to listen to my heart
but it doesn't even make a sound
i think it's dead?

i've got these mixed feelings i can't describe
i wanted to hang in there
but we were afraid
i can't go anywhere without your hand

everything happens for a reason?
i'll wait long enough to uncover the point
why we are going this way
don't throw away anything okay
cause i still love you

------

now that it's slipped through my fingers,
i feel a burning regret in me
now that i've lost smth so strong,
everything's been so crazy

and i thought we could have it all
but we burnt the bridge between us
and i felt something so real deep inside,
just to find that it died away so fast

it feels like i'm a million miles away from you
when ur there in front of me
and i avoid your eyes again and again
i just don't know why

nothing can turn back time
if words could change the way we live
then it must be that i'm living in some kind of fantasy
and i'm wishing there could only be you and me, me and you.
*incomplete. heh

FUCK, IM EMPTY.

ALOT, and i can't emphasize more on the word ALOT,

ALOT bad things have happened to me. yes, its like everythings coming after me
shittos.
how unlucky can one bitch be?!

*hey how ur doing.?
oh im fine.
yea, setupid plastic fake shit pretence.

ade hikmah sebalik ni smue
ya, so cliche. so mendak. so basi.
aku sabar kan? tapi org ni kate there's a limit to patience.
so when isit MY turn to step on THEIR heads.
i wanna hurt ppl. yes, and not regret. not look back.
idk, what fck feeling is this.

Blogged @ 5/18/2008

♥ Saturday, May 17, 2008

HELLO BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!

Today was FUN! Shall not elaborate with detail cause I very lazy. Went to IKEA with Nasyiba, Aizura, Qayyum, Suryanti and Mimi. We nearly got lost there. Then off to VIVO! Susu left first. Then Mimi. After that, we went to Qayyum's cousin's house. She go take something. Her baby cuz damn cute! HAHA. After that Qayyum go off, left with me, Aizura and Nasyibababa. We went JE and buy bubble tea. Aizura left first. After that me and Nasyibababa go home!!!

Stole this survey from Yvette. HAHA.

...About You...
Nickname: Nadh
Sex: Female.
Eye Color: Dark Brown
Hair Color: I’m blonde. Haha. Black lurh.
Height: 1.59m. last checked quite a long time ago.
Favorite Color: BLUE
Screen Name: NuttyRaH
Your Car: Chevrolet. HAHA. Like real. I loike the name. Sounds like chocolate.
Your Hometown: Singapore
Your Present Town: Singapore
Your Crush's First Name: KPO seyh.
Your Grade: Sec 2
Your Style: Anything comfortable

...Favorites...
Band: Many many
Movie: Many many.
TV show: Many many.
Song: Cold by crossfade.
Color: BLUE
Cigarette: Nah.
Pastime: Peeing in the toilet.

...Have You Ever...
Sat on your rooftop: Nah.
Kissed someone in the rain: No larh.
Danced in a public place: YEP!!!
Smiled for no reason: Yessss
Laughed so hard you cried: HAHA. YARH
Peed your pants after age 8: Dun rmb.
Written a song: Nah but I wan ppl 2 write song fer me. HAHA.
Sang to someone for no reason: Yes. All the time.
Performed on a stage: Somehow.
Talked to someone you don't know: Yah. Some auntie in the MRT.
Made out in a theater: HAHA. FUNNY AR?
Gone roller skating since 8th grade: Nah.
Been in love: Maybe….
A near death experience: Yesssa.
Sang in front of a large audience: HAHA. NAH.

...Can You...
Write with both hands: Nah. I’m a righty.
Whistle: No :(
Blow a bubble: Yesssa!!!!!
Roll your tongue: Haha. YES YES!
Cross your eyes: Maybe.
Touch your tongue to your nose: No.
Dance: I don’t dance well.
Speak a different language: Malay
Impersonate someone: Haha. Not good at tat.
Cook anything: Cook egg. I loike.

...Are you...
Fighter: Nah.
Smoker: Nah.
Drinker: I drink plain water.
Stalker: HAHA. NO!
Man eater: Yes. I wanna eat you up. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Man hater: Nah. I don’t hate man.
Lover: Huh??
War freak: Nah. I’m a good girl.
Heartbreaker: Urm. Nah.
In love: HAHA.
Bossy: Sometimes.
Friendly: Not really.

...More...
What is your current mood?: Neutral.
Does your crush like you back?: hahaha
What makes you happy?: THINGS.
Elaborate on your default photo: Lazy larh.
Name one thing you do a lot: Pee.
Name someone with the same b-day as you: My brother.
Are you comfortable with your height: Haha. Ya ya papaya.

...Finish The Line...
If I were a ... zombie, I’ll eat you up first.
I wish ... for THINGS.
So many people don't know ... THINGS.
I am ... Nadhirah. Why? Got prob is it? Wanna fight?
My heart is ... for you only. HAHA. Talk crapp.
Pet Peeves ... what the TOOT?

Sewel saying Au Revoir :)

Blogged @ 5/17/2008

♥ Friday, May 16, 2008

Jangan Kau Berputus Asa
By Spider

Gerbang mu terbuka mencabar ku
Melangkah menurut rasa rindu
Biar pun nanti antara kita
Ada yang mungkin terkorban
Biar pun nanti kita terhukum
Kerana melanggar kebiasaan

Cinta tak pandang
Tak kira siapa
Ia kan mencuba
Selagi mana pencinta
Terdaya menahannya
Dia akan dicuba

Sebelum gugur tercalar jiwa parah
Jangan kau gugurkan airmata
Sebelum putus tali Tuhan Yang Esa
Jangan kau berputus asa

Nada mu menangis menduga ku
Dekati dirimu yang ku rindu
Biarpun nanti antara kita
Ada yang mungkin menyesal
Biarpun nanti kita terpaksa
Membayar harga yang tak setimpal

Cinta tak pandang
Tak kira siapa
Ia kan mencuba
Selagi mana pencinta
Terdaya menahannya
Dia akan dicuba

Sebelum gugur tercalar jiwa parah
Jangan kau gugurkan airmata
Sebelum putus tali Tuhan Yang Esa
Jangan kau berputus asa

Sebelum gugur tercalar jiwa parah
Jangan kau gugurkan airmata
Sebelum putus tali Tuhan Yang Esa
Jangan kau berputus asa

Jangan kau berputus asa
Jangan kau berputus asa

Sewel saying au revoir :)

Blogged @ 5/16/2008

♥

i dont feel like all these are real.
its like their lies,
i dont believe in any shit u tell me.
in fact, anyone.

i believe in one person, ALLAH.
lol!
oh wait, lea also.
currently, she's the only one i can depend on.
the rest, go and die. dont disturb me
i sooooo cant wait for the day i fall
cause then, u can see me die, drown., wtv.
then u'll be happy

somehow i wish ud forget me.
idk why,
cause it seems like u dont care.?

im afraid of getting close to u,
cause maybe im afraid of feeling wat i felt?
someone told me to believe, have faith.
but all thats too dull, aku da mendak ngn bull tu smue
i want someone who cares.
it could have been YOU.

but no, on the bright side.
ade BDK CUTE
heh. fuck, u blow my mind. hahahaha!
ohh, i dont want hols D:
but i want. shut up

ok bye. im half happy, half hak puih. dont mind me
and YOU, stop pushing me, my patience running thin,
ihy to the core.
fuck u arrogant ass lobang

Blogged @ 5/16/2008

♥ Saturday, May 10, 2008

Since Exams Ended

Since exams ended, staying home has been a total bore. Since exams ended, I no longer like to watch TV. Since exam ended, I get totally fed up real easily. Since exams ended, I find myself with absolutely nothing better to do than using the computer, watching TV or just staring in blank space. Since exams ended, I find loud music(Without all the stupid shouting. The shouting just spoils the whole song.) amusing. Since exams ended, I love 100 plus. And now I'm bored. Yet again.

Anyways, here's what we did on Wednesday, 070508. GEREK!

Choa Chu Kang!!!

That view.

I see an expressway.

TEBAN! Mira gila.

Satu break dance th menjadi.
Satu senget.
Satu model tk menjadi.
Lagi satu sujud tak menjadi.

The Dora The Explorers for the day.

Klau Amirex nampak, MAMPOS.

TEBAN TOILET!

Ala-ala emo lah gitu tapi tak menjadi.

Model-model tk menjadi.

Maner kepale pi?

speak, hear, see, smell(?) NO EVIL

Ini pulak see, smell(?), speak, hear NO EVIL.
Amirah sajaklah tuu.

Budak-budak zaman sekarang.

Middle finger UP!

Teban from 25th floor. Mira threw McDonald coupon.
We watched it fly away.

We found the coupon! YAY!

My face like shit but nvm la ekh?

sewel saying au revoir :)

Blogged @ 5/10/2008

♥ Wednesday, May 7, 2008

ohhh, it keeps ringing on my head. ;D

oooohhh, ini lagu lagi HOT punya.!

ily. hah, ok shut up. some sicko like tt.

gdbye all.

i love the softness of taik. im serious tauuuu!

Blogged @ 5/07/2008

♥

happy 13months! <3

idk if u rmb though. heh

anw, i feel gay.
i soo wanna meet u.
cause its fun, right? huhu.

i wanna sleep many many. but i dont want to miss anything. ok shut up

BYE, ily, i love myself also! :D

Blogged @ 5/07/2008

♥ Monday, May 5, 2008

HELLO WONDERFUL PEOPLE

Long time no post. Macam rindu gitu. Haha. Anyways, even though today was like the 2nd last paper, it was so NOT fun. People went home and I seriously did not want to go home. What for? Later need to go out again for third language. Haissh. But luckily, I met Jasmine, Pei Zhi, Jia Wen, Adeline and Li Ping in the MRT. I follow them go Causeway Point. They made my day fun-er. HAHA. Then I go third language. Got ORAL. But lucky me again cause my turn did not come up. So, mine is on THURSDAY! Can't wait for Wednesday. Want to SLACK SLACK SLACK ALOT MORE :) I miss slacking. Tomorrow got CCA. Somehow happy but somehow not. Cannot celebrate the end of examinations. Aww~

Cold By Crossfade

Looking back at me I see
That I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in
Things I cannnot win
You are the antidote that gets me by
Something strong
Like a drug that gets me high

(Chorus)
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
(x2)

To you, I'm sorry about all the lies
Maybe in a different light
You could see me stand on my own again
Cause now i can see
You were the antidote that got me by
Something strong like a drug that got me high

(Chorus)

I never meant to be so cold

I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me theres just no hope

I never meant to be so cold

(Chorus)

I'm like seriously addicted to Crossfade now. Who got Crossfade songs tell me!! I WANT! :DD

sewel saying au revoir :)

Blogged @ 5/05/2008

♥ Friday, May 2, 2008